and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
tell me about the eggs
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