Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
