In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
