I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
