You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
