How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
