you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
