I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
