maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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