Porn is love you can see.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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