what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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