Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake