3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...