where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
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He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.