Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
