Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
