I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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