booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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