My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
