it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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