where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
