hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize