Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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