You smell like stripper and shame
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize