Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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