I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
