yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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