When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize