It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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