just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
