I'm going to jail i love you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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