I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
