Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
