Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
