I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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