im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD