where does the pee come out of this thing
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!