What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.