Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Send help, water and tortillas.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.