so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.