Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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