I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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