Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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