if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
