guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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