its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Houston, we have a squirter
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
