you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
