Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
