walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
