I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
