last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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