NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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