saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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