we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
