We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.