I hope mine doesn't look like that
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina