My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
