ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
