I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
