I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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