he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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