Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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