Umm I'm too high to move.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
