I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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