she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
