Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
