New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
nutella sex= disaster
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
