i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
