Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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