He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
